The Life Before Us Is Disappearing

Photo courtesy of Lin Tun – Buddhist Temple

Where Is the Forest?
It Just Looks Like Trees.

Slung over this desk,
phone on shoulder and hands on keys
in the fourth waking hour of a day
marked by earth shrieking heat,
I’m Shiva the destroyer,
an octopus of intentions and limbs.

The time thief plied me with good coffee
and a careless hour of early morning comfort
then stole the rest from me.

What you engage, you will become:
A web.
Flimsy, unsubstantial,
covered in dust for the sitting too long,
you are a trap for thoughts
you can’t digest.

Scanning the web;
watch out for the links.
No way am I going down that foxhole.
That’s how daylight is lost.
Open no link until the reading’s done
or disappear on Riding Hood’s scavenger hunt
bewildered in the woods
forgetting where you started,
wandering exhausted and hungry.

Don’t kid yourself.
You can only do one thing well at a time.
You won’t remember what you were reading
before the first link is done.

Words, so many lovely words
shove their way onto this tiny screen;
I anxiously scan them for the sake of time.
But my head turns just slightly north
to the horizon beyond this window
and at once there is no rush
or refusing the invitation
for wordless thoughts.

Here time is not clipped
but expansive as the horizon
till I turn back
and all is compression.

And what are we talking about?
It seems there are two topics.

One: We are fucked and this is why.
Two: We are perfect
and life is beautiful
and this is why
and this is how.

Guess I know which this one is.

Link it, like it,
share it, pin it,
tweet it, stumble upon it,
tumble over it and sell it;
especially sell it.

And what changes while we’re talking,
I wonder.
Perhaps time will tell.
That’s what we people say
when we don’t know.

Perhaps the leadership of this planet,
that behemoth global constipation of intransigence
will shift as a result and meanwhile……..
Busy so busy. What a joke.
How’ve you been?
Oh man, I’ve been so busy!
Oh really?

Task: Another name for burden.
We are multi-burdening.
Buried in burdens
multiplied by complicity,
we do more than we want to
and agree to do all halfway well.

We have made a new agreement.
If we are to succeed
it will be in partnership here.
That partnership does not rest
to wake at dawn
but never stops.

Who is leading this dance?
What consciousness created this?

Awash in this confounding confusion
of metal and plastic bits
that I can’t touch
and that I can’t really know
despite all its offering,
Has allowed access
to souls I have touched
or been touched by
and how much I have learned
even if most is forgotten!

This world is open wide
and I might be wise to stay the course.
But the life before me
is disappearing.

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9 Comments

Filed under Buddhism, new age enlightenment, Uncategorized, yoga

9 responses to “The Life Before Us Is Disappearing

  1. It was July 4th and the phone on my shoulder was a call from my brother. I was frustrated by the amount of time I’d been sitting at the desk. I said, “the life before me is disappearing”. He said that was a great title for a post.

    A few days later this photo from Lin Tung came to me and I saw the post.

    This busy technology changing and driven life has so many rewards. I am wondering how to balance that with the life I can’t live without; staring out the window or being out the window.

  2. Wow, were you spying on me yesterday? I had the whole day to get stuff done and spent most of it lost in a wilderness of internet garbage, and what work I did get through was done begrudgingly because I felt that it was stealing my time. I constantly feel caught between two worlds as one of businesses is struggling both because of the economy and because of my waning interest but I still need it for the income despite these things and my other business, that I want to spend lots and lots of time on, is sitting right there waiting to be paid attention too. I try to devote time to it and inevitably a client from biz #1 calls to ask when their stuff will be ready or to ask for something that will otherwise monopolize an undue amount of time. I’m growing to hate the computer and the social media conversations. Through the window, I see the sun moving across the sky while yet another day of spent opportunity passes. Designing someone’s wedding album is not appealing to me in any way but the sad part is that biggest time thief of all is my own poor time management skills.
    Last night I had a dream that the landlord of my office building had me chained to a bed post. I asked him to let me go and he said no. While I was cursing him for holding me hostage, I realized that I could slide my hand out of the handcuff so I waited for his attention to stray and then shoved him into the wall and made a break for it. I ran across the parking lot, barefoot and mostly naked, while he threw poison darts at me. One of them penetrated my hand but I ripped it out and kept running. I see this dream as being deeply symbolic, either that or my landlord is a closet ax murder which seems unlikely.
    Today I resolve to reign it in and walk in the right direction. No one has more time than me after all.
    I thought you would like this song. She is a genius on many levels. http://youtu.be/jdYG-Nh_AxU

    • Yes, I wrote it for you as you and I are not different here. But you took the time, the precious time away from other things to talk to me here and that is the painful beauty of this thing. I know I would not want to lose that though as you say, time has to be managed more carefully to do it all.
      Your dream is astonishing. It says it all and one thing it says is that you are a badass. One must remember that. Wait, I need to listen to the song. Will do. Dare I say I have had no time for anything for a couple of days but then it’s because we have been preparing for a big party while working, etc. and now it’s time to party!!!!!

      • Awww, you wrote that for me? Really? That’s, um, amazing! I’m usually the one writing stories for other people but it is extremely rare for it to be the other way around. Yes, in fact, this makes once.

        Did you listen to the song yet? I don’t usually like to try make people sit through videos but in this case the song is so exceptional that it’s worth the time, at least in my totally biased opinion. I believe I was her in a previous life.

        I hope the party was worth the planning! 🙂

      • I think Gillian and Dave are locals here. I saw them at our local movie house a ways back. Yes they are magic. You should check out the band The Civil Wars. I believe you would also have shared that soul. The party was lovely as was a day yesterday waking up to a house totally post party cleaned by this maniac, coffee on a terrace sunny after a week of rain, taught a yoga class and dropped in on friends who are moving, went to a daytime tea for them which in Nashville means get faced on cocktails before it’s an acceptable time of day, and then we all made dinner and went to that same local movie house to see Wes Ander’s movie, then back to their house for more libation and her hospitable heapings of more food. So I did not open this computer but for 5 morning minutes and it was perfect.

  3. drbinder

    Consciousness created this consciousness of course. There is no other way. And your free will is to determine a response. Your reaction is unique and is ultimately created from that same consciousness. The hall of mirrors that we stand in is grand. And your reflection is beautiful!
    LOVE.

    • Well of course you put it so simply and right. My consciousness created what I see, saw, imagine. I am reflecting me. If that’s all we do then I guess it pays to make ourselves as clear as possible, as healthy and smart as possible and hope for the best. I found you in that reflection and you are then a part of me. In all the confusion of self love I can say with certainty that that is a part of me that I love unconditionally. Howdy stranger.

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