Excerpt from the Book: I’m O.K., You’re an Asshole.

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I’ve got a wild hair. It’s the n’th hour of a Sunday morning here in December as 2012 fades away. I began a book eight years ago and had to put it away for awhile. I was advised it was negative and I sorrowfully lack the fire to ignore advice.

I have a class to teach in half an hour. I feel like crap after careening down a small ravine a few days ago. I haven’t slept in nights. And so full of poor judgement and inflammation that burns like fire, I’m releasing the opening of the book. Hope you like it.

My first book

a compilation of observations

I’m O.K., You’re An Asshole. Observations and Discriminations from a Rebel Yogi

I started this book in 2004 or maybe it was 2005. Who keeps track of dates? My time is recorded in events and this was the time I met my first yoga opportunist. It was the time I had my first competitor, my first enemy who walked into my class backed by a chunk of family money and a mission to put me out and step into my shoes. And then Hot Yoga walked into town with a mission for money. Yoga was over as I knew it. Innocence was lost.

This writing was a way to blow off steam and I put it down not long after I began it. Eight years later and the blogosphere is awash in yoga bashing, yoga analysis on yoga culture with a subsequent awareness that when human beings with time and desire on their hands need a distraction they can turn even yoga into a mess. This book  is absolutely subjective  but what the Hell.  I’ve decided to set it free.

Put down this book. It is not for you.I know so many wonderful people; people I would never consider an asshole.  Just for the record.

This is a yoga book that points out flaws and freaky because we have enough information on how potentially good we are to fill up a Christian bookstore and that’s just encouraging us to be assholes.

Karma is often misunderstood. The way it works is, I say, “You’re an asshole”, and that makes you think that I’m the asshole because you don’t get what an asshole you are and that makes you act like an asshole to me.  It’s a loop. I don’t want to mess up anyone’s karma including my own so let’s not start that. O.K., I started it but I want to point something out. The yoga class buzz is as brief as a Sunday sermon. Benign expressions fade.

 We people are unpredictable. Memories lie waiting like soldiers in foxholes to gun us down when we least expect it. Unconscious thoughts arise at inappropriate times and do damage. I didn’t provoke you but your asshole memories are turning into your asshole reality and getting in my face.  I can pretend I don’t care but in fact everything matters to me and now I’m trying to rein in my feelings, you asshole. The karma wheel keeps turning.




Filed under new age enlightenment, satire, social commentary, yoga

7 responses to “Excerpt from the Book: I’m O.K., You’re an Asshole.

  1. I began this book surprised at the community of yoga that had changed before my eyes. I realized that there was no longer a person I defined as a ‘yoga person’ but that we are all people who practice something and we don’t always practice what we preach and we don’t always preach what we practice.

    The book is not at all negative. It is simply a person’s opinon of human nature. That opinion is that we might want to love and be loved but even if every step we take is a cockeyed waltz toward that intention havoc is often wreaked on the way because it’s damn hard to get along. People are just confusing.

    This is a book about about why. I never pretend to know the how. But I figure the why is enough to navigate a messy and confusing but nevertheless fabulous life.

    As usual, yoga is my muse.

    By the way for my Hot yoga friends, my commentary there describes the first time I saw yoga marketed for money. Money makes people do wierd things.

  2. While I fear the book title may not be quite ready for the mass market, I do like that an experienced voice can be heard on the subject of contemporary yoga. I’ve always practiced here in the upper right hand corner. Some sweet yoga here but it’s small market. I like to know what’s going on in the wider world and I want to know some history. Add to that I trust you, H. So I’m always interested in your take. And it is hard to get along – all that citta vritti works against us. I hope you’ll finish runnin it down for us. I’d buy it.

    • I posted that old copy hastily and looked back yesterday to see it was the first and really unthought out draft. I seem to have two copies of it. So I posted a cleaner excerpt now but it is the same content, just not written like a mental patient off her meds; well maybe that’s not true either. I will tell reveal more or I’ll burn it. A virtual burn but all the same.. I just wanted to point to the mess the mind can make of things. Thank you for your trust but please doubt me and torch anything that needs fire and light! I trust you too.

  3. I loved that asshole paragraph at the end. You can disappear right up your own fundament and still come out preaching the divine light. And the name-calling paradox gets all satirists in the nuts, because you want to have the liberty to say things sucks but you don’t want to just be a parasite living off the suckiness. It comes with being a humorist!

    • Welcome to bitchin. Disappear up your fundament and come out preaching the divine light. Well, that’s just a glorious comment. I’m not even sure if it describes me with my head up my own ass or not but I like it just as well either way. Much appreciation for that.

  4. binder4health

    This is the most exciting email I got all week. Let it ROLL! The yoga community needs your story, experience and wisdom. Don’t let the corporate yoga vacuum suck all the newbies away from finding their own inner potential.

    The title is great. Self Publish. No one will blink an eye. Everyone knows they have the ability to be an asshole sometimes. They’ll pick up your book to find out more. Who could resist finding out why they’re an asshole.

    When the inside pages reveal a madwomen who probably would be fine if the world around her would just conform (to something other then what it is currently conforming to), they’ll also realize how “fine” they are.

    You’ll give schizophrenia a fresh perspective, if you do it right.

    • Brent! I do believe you just called me a schizophrenic! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.:) So glad to see you again. Yes, I’m romancing the gonzo and thank you for the push.

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