Another Shot Heard Round the World from Boston
I don’t run for sport. I would run only if chased or chasing time.
Others run for pleasure … or to keep depression at bay, which may be the same thing. They run for the joy of it or the high of it, others, like me, run when threatened, and there are those that run toward danger. We are a diverse people.
Some of us want to burn shit down. We may or may not know why. Some of us put out fires. We may or may not know why. Some want to carry countrymen from burning buildings. I think they know why.
The life is suddenly multiplied with potential. Technology advances and possibilities escalate. There is greater opportunity for both destruction and construction.
I’m no longer shocked by violence. The latest act of terrorism that blew up the Boston Marathon did not shock me like it was the first blast, though it broke my heart for the victims just the same. Violence is no longer a random occurrence in supposedly civilized countries but a fact of life. But violent acts no longer convince me that my fellow men are criminally insane or emotionally bankrupt. Cynicism and fear had clouded judgment. Though I am sure that most of Congress is morally bankrupt and that the criminally insane walk amongst us in growing populations thanks to a life that is untenable without anger or drugs, I am hopeful that most of the world is running from danger or into the fire to carry countrymen from buildings. I hadn’t realized how much that mattered.
This life is a peculiar juxtaposition of isolation and information. For anyone with a computer, radio or television there is an onslaught of urgent or at least pressing information that is perhaps relevant but not directly personal which has the effect of both distancing and engaging the observer. You can look away, you can run away but it does not go away. Someone you know will eventually share it. Still you cannot touch it or change it and it doesn’t even care; doesn’t know your name. Disconnection breeds mistrust. Mistrust breeds loneliness. Loneliness is a catalyst to fear.
The Bush/Cheney years brought fear and negativity to the forefront. Is it merely coincidence that these were the years that made yoga famous as well? I don’t think so. Before my yoga life was a hostile take-over, I didn’t have an enemy in the world. Before George Bush took office, I trusted my country. Before Monsanto stole our food my biggest challenge was addiction to chocolate. Before drug companies and advertisers colluded to poison our bodies and minds, the worst nightmare I had raising kids was to keep them off booze and recreational drugs. Why pontificate? You know the list. It is yours too. Yes, there was naiveté before. Some were running away from life, some starting fires but we didn’t see that unless they were celebrities or neighbors. We now know that things were not always as they seemed. Information may be crowding us today but we know what we have to sift through.
My friends own guns. It’s a done deal and it’s not going away: Pilates instructors, massage therapists, song writers; all of them. I have to accept the new norm. I was with a fellow the other night who told me he left his V.P. job at a large corporation to become a cop because corporate life was a hideous nightmare. He reported that though he grew up a California liberal and still is, he wouldn’t recommend anyone leave their house without a gun after seeing what roams the streets. He was sorrowful saying so.
Thanks to unlimited access to information via the internet, anyone can make a bomb now. Soon or maybe now we can make weapons on our 3D printers.
Despite this or maybe because of this, surrender melts my fear today though today I also called my Senators urging them toward gun reform as the time is now. I won’t stop fighting for what seems right but I can’t keep fighting phantoms. I cannot explain it other than to say that my extended family and friends are fine people. The world in front of me has homeless and chained dogs and terrible things for sale but that is not the whole of it or even the most of it. Most of it is beautiful and glorious and wonderful. I can’t stand looking at it any other way anymore.
Though it’s likely you’ll forever hear me shout warnings about the venomous snake in the grass, I will also notice the flower that pushes past rock to feel the sun. My eyes set and truth will follow. I am tired of intruder’s madness. Just like you.
Have you ever noticed the subtle sensation of your skin shrinking back as you open your eyes after savasana? Even in a safe haven we are built to protect from other.
I am horrified by my brethren who want to torch us. But I am so tired of wearing protective gear.
We are mournful for the victims stopped crippled or dead in their tracks. We are lifted up by the heroes who continue to run into the fire May we find enough love to believe that the life unconditionally supports our ability to move freely without harm from others because it is clear, we can no longer hide. We are exposed.